【S】”Yes, I believe I AM good!”

Hi Nora,

As I’ve mentioned to you a few times already, I recently finished the book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg- and I highly recommend it! I was going to write a post about the book as a whole, but today, I had an interesting conversation with mom about one of the chapters, and I thought I’d share part of our conversation with you, dad, and our readers.

In this chapter, Sheryl mentioned that many women lack confidence- so that when they finally get the job they want, they feel guilty. They feel like they are “so lucky to get a job” and that “sooner or later, people will find out that they are really not that good”. They feel like they’ve “lied” to their employers about their capability, and are worried that people will realize this soon. Sheryl said she was nodding her head again and again when she heard this in a speech, and realized that she wasn’t the only one that has felt this way. The interesting thing is, this feeling applies to many women (and men)- even the ones that are extremely smart and successful.

I found this really interesting, because this thought actually occurred to me in the beginning of my summer internship. When our VP of Global Human Resources told us that we are “the best of the best”- because out of the 500+ applicants this year, only 14 of us made the cut, I thought “wow, I’m proud of myself”. But after a second or so, I thought, “Shit…I’m so lucky to get in. How is it possible that I’ve out-competed hundreds of applicants? What if soon people find out I’m really not that good?” Yes, basically the same thoughts described by Sheryl Sandberg. But in reality, there really is no reason why I should have thought that the other interns are more competent than me when I barely knew them! (Thinking back, it’s interesting how I thought everyone else got in because they are good, but I got in because I was lucky…maybe we all have the tendency to be harder on ourselves.)

Throughout this summer, I have been fortunate to have the chance to chat with some successful people in Wunderman. I still remember that Chris Elliot (Executive Creative Director) told us that we should apply for jobs that we are intimidated by or scared of- jobs we think that are too good for us. Kelby Johnson (Senior Strategist) also said we should feel uncomfortable in our job- that’s when we know we’re doing the right thing to improve and push ourselves.

So you know what? Feeling challenged and intimidated by your job is not only normal…but probably a good thing. I say it’s a good thing because i think that’s how we concur our own fear and push our boundary. So why not change this worried and guilty feeling into positive energy? I mean, seriously- if Sheryl Sandberg, one of the most influential women in the world, has doubted her own ability, you should know that if you feel this way it doesn’t mean you’re not competent at all. It just means that you should believe in yourself and be more confident! 🙂

Lastly, now I think about it, it’s silly to think we only got the job because we have tricked our employers into thinking that we are competent. But the reality is, these people- the HR, your manager, or whoever that hired you- aren’t stupid. They’ve seen tons of people and have so many years of experience under their belt. If they hire you, they must have seen something in you. 

At the end of our conversation, mom asked me if I still worry about this. To be honest…I think this thought kind of evaporated. I’m still super thankful for the job I have and do feel lucky to have a job I love, but, like one of the quotes in our offices says: “Luck favors the prepared”.

So- I hope we will always remember to believe in ourselves and have faith. Yes, we ARE good! 🙂

Love,

Sharon

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “【S】”Yes, I believe I AM good!”

  1. 女兒,我在職場上的時間不長,好像沒什麼好建言的,可是,從很久很久以前,不管那個工作是介紹或是辛苦應徵而上的,我好像就不曾有過什麼我不夠好這種感覺。考學校老師的時候,繳了八間學校的報名費,最後,在永吉國小新進老師自我介紹時,我說:大家都知道〝良禽擇木而棲〞,我很開心來到永吉,而我也會努力,向各位證明,你們的選擇是明智正確的〞。所以,我好像一直不是一個謙虛的人,自然也就沒有所謂的罪惡感。但到底,我這樣的個性是好是壞呢?在職場上會成功還是失敗呢?其實,真的不知道,因為,我沒有好好走下去來證明一切。但我所看到的妳,聰明努力、不斷的尋求他人的指導協助、樂於交朋友、表達你的感激、主動做任何事情,所以,將來,你就會有機會告訴我,這些所謂的〝成功人士〞他們所講的是不是正確的。好好學習,好好表現,你自然會歸納出屬於你的經驗法則!

  2. 這倒有些像我 覺得自己不夠好 這些天 我也在想這個問題 現在覺得這樣的想法其實不壞 只是自已要架起自己的職場哲學 我永遠向自己極限挑戰 一旦得到 (也一直得到)會覺得興奮 幸運 但也有伊斯這樣的想法 sooner or later, people will find out that i am really not that good. 但是 也因為如此 我會努力找出自己的競爭優勢 用自己的長處 彌補短處 專心做好一二件事 發光發亮 所以 當我挑戰爭取台灣愛克發總經理時 自己都覺得瘋了 但卻在隨後開創出一個不同的局面 所以 我不挑戰 也不更正我那樣的念頭 重點是 我一直 往我能力外的目標挑戰 絕不妥協於舒適圈 所以 要建立自己的職場哲學 開心最重要 還是發展是王道 專業人或是經理人 這個工作室一座橋 (為下階段做承接) 還是是一條道路 直直走就是你要去的地方 孩子們 職業這條路 的確有太多要探討的 愛情也是 家庭也是

  3. Pingback: 【S】Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg | Pair’adise / sharon&nora's交換日記♥

  4. I totally hear you!!!!!!! Thanks for this post 🙂 ❤
    One thing I learned during training is that, don't focus so much on fixing your weaknesses, focus more on making your strengths even better. Like work on your strength so that you really shine and stand out, instead of just fixing your weaknesses and be a "normal" person who is "not bad".

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s